A Realisation

Have you ever had that moment in your life, an epiphany, where you realise something profound and (potentially) life-changing?

I realised that my problems are not my problems.

I noticed a few days ago that most of my problems revolve around what other people are doing. My older brother and family, my younger brother and soon-to-be family, my other half, my parents.

I am trying to understand that I can’t change these things. I shouldn’t imagine worst case scenarios, because they probably won’t ever happen. I can’t pin all my hopes on something that may not ever come about.

I’m trying to focus on my own personal life, and deal with the problems in my tiny bubble.

Maybe it would be different if everyone else’s lives were concrete and planned out, but they’re not. So I might as well just belt up and ride the waves when they come. After all, it might be plain sailing.

Things will change in 6 months. Everyone will be settled by then, and their problems and mine won’t exist anyway. I just need to be selfish for 6 months and make sure my plans pan out.

I hate not having a definite path. I know MY path, but everyone around me is swirling around in big blobs of colour like in a Picasso painting. Each blob of paint splashes me slightly and threatens to pull me into its wake. It’s hard not to be impacted by what your family’s doing, especially when you’re all going to share the same living space.  Still, it’s better to be a part of everything that’s going on!